Talkshow
by La Dormeuse
Summary: Hitomi goes on TV to promote her new movie but the focus switches to a budding romance with the male lead, will she be left alone on the couch to field Allen and Dryden's saucy questions? VH


Just a quick one-shot. Here we go, based on a Friday night TV show (if your from the UK, you'll recognise it's from the Friday Night Project). If you love Paris Hilton then you won't want to read it.

_Italics = what people are doing_

All the best, Sina.

Disclaimer: Don't own Esca. Some swearing and suggestive themes.

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Voiceover: Welcome to the Friday Night Project with our guest host, the famous Manga-ka whose books have now been turned into a film, Hitomi Kanzaki!

Dryden: It's lovely to have you Hitomi! Let's have a cheer for her!

_Hitomi walks onstage wearing skinny jeans and a green silky spaghetti strap top, looking very pretty with her hair cut to her shoulders and feathered. She grins, and waves at the cheering crowd, walking over to the two hosts, and hugs them both._

Allen: You nervous at all? We're not that scary!

Dryden: Even though we may have made Millerna Aston cry. _Audience laugh and Dryden grins at Allen's smirk._

Allen: I thought it was perfectly acceptable to ask whether she was supporting her friend Paris Hilton by wearing orange. _Laughter._

Dryden: And if she thought she would make a film in jail. _Laughter again. Hitomi grins and sits down on the couch opposite Dryden and Allen._

Hitomi: Welcome to the Friday Night Project with me Hitomi Kanzaki as your host, with Allen Schezar and Dryden Fassa as the two dudes that will heckle me. _Audience laughs. She smiles._ So gentlemen, what would you like to ask me as we start the part of the show which I call – I'm on this show to promote my brand-spanking new movie, and will plug it as much as possible.

Allen: I don't remember you saying spanking in rehearsal, but would love it and I think the audience would like to hear Hitomi say the word 'spanking' again. _Hitomi blushes and giggles as the audience laughs raucously and cheers loudly._

Dryden: We can provide a dominatrix outfit if you'd like? I'm sure Allen has one or something PVC in his dressing room. _Hitomi laughs harder and smiles and faces camera directly, pouting slightly._

Hitomi: Spanking. _Continues to laugh._

Allen: I think you could have a job on the Fantasy channels, what with this and the 'chocolate incident' we've all heard about, you know if it turns out the movie is shit. _Hitomi laughs._

Hitomi: I really hope not.

Dryden: I think you should consider it. You'd get a lot more profit and I think you'd be a brilliant actress _audience cheer. _It'd have a lot more people watching you, and I think I'd much rather watch you as a dominatrix or anything involving role playing rather than the film that's based on your manga and you've written the screenplay for. Also, there's no nudity in this film.

Hitomi: The boys take their shirts off for a bit.

Allen: We mean female, specifically your nudity. _Hitomi laughs._

Dryden: Imagine, what that would be like. Hitomi in a certain type of film or anything involving chocolate.

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(switches to set of a dressing room in the dark)

_Hitomi enters the room and switches on the light to see Van Fanel (Dryden) in just his boxers with chocolate slathered over his stomach on her desk in a very provocative position._

Hitomi: Van! _She drops her folders onto the floor. 'Van' looks at her in total shock as if he wasn't expecting her._

'Van': Umm, hey Hitomi. I shouldn't have…I mean it's late I think I'll go. _He stands up to leave but Hitomi moves towards him smiling slightly, hips swaying._

Hitomi: I take it you liked the chocolate incident and wanted my tongue on other parts of your body huh? _She leans towards him as he backs away looking slightly scared. The phone rings, she picks it up and after a few seconds puts it down in a huff._

Hitomi: I have to go and talk to the producer, _she slides a finger up his stomach and licks the chocolate on her finger,_ I'll be with you in a few minutes. _She walks out of the room as Dilandau Albatou (Allen) appears out of a closet with chocolate all round his mouth, and missing articles of clothing._

Allen: You don't think she suspects anything do you?

* * *

(Switches back to Hitomi, Allen, and Dryden on the sofa with the audience laughing hysterically).

Hitomi: They're going to kill me for that. _Blushes and puts her head in her hands, giggling slightly._

Allen: I enjoyed that.

Dryden: Me too, but what I'd enjoy more would be to have a thorough blow by blow account of the chocolate incident. _Audience and Hitomi laugh, although Hitomi is still slightly red._

Hitomi: The tabloids wrote that between takes in filming we'd all laugh and joke about and there was an incident, just one where I licked chocolate off a part of Van Fanel's body. _Blushing as the audience cheer and some shout 'where?' She blushes even more furiously._

Allen: And what part of his anatomy did you lick him off? _Audience laugh even more and Hitomi cracks a small smile._

Hitomi: You make it sound like we were doing naughty things.

Dryden: Oh you definitely should work for the porn channels with that suggestive nature.

Allen: Well?

Hitomi: It was off his nose as he was eating ice-cream and Dilandau pushed it in his face making it go on his nose and he dared me to lick it off his nose so I did.

Allen: It just so happens that I have spilt some chocolate ice-cream, on a part of my body that is currently covered, would you like to lick it off?

Hitomi: _laughs gently_ I haven't been dared to do it. _Audience scream 'I dare you!' 'Do it.' She laughs again. Dryden smirks at her._

Dryden: Speaking of the two male stars of the film who you've gotten to know _winks_ over the past year and a half of filming…

Hitomi: Yes?

Dryden: We've been hearing rumours that you are romantically linked with one of them. _Audience cheers and ooohs, Hitomi laughs._

Hitomi: _trying to keep a straight face_ Really? I haven't heard those rumours.

Allen: What do you think of them? In terms of whether we're better looking than them. _Audience laughs as Allen jokingly flips his hair and smirks at Hitomi who laughs_.

Hitomi: They're nice boys.

Dryden: Who's better looking? Who would you rather…

Hitomi: _rather innocently_ Who would I rather what?

_Audience laughs raucously, Dryden grins._

Allen: Who would you rather have sex with? _Audience hollers at the comment both 'Van' and 'Dilandau.' Hitomi blushes and smiles slightly._

Hitomi: They're both nice people, umm they're very good friends of mine.

Dryden: Maybe the screen behind you will give you some help.

_Screen lights up showing a picture of Van shirtless staring sexily into the camera and a picture of Dilandau in a swimming pool showing off his chest. Hitomi giggles and turns to Dryden and Allen._

Hitomi: I haven't seen those pictures. Wow, they're hot. Can I get a copy of those? _Grins cheekily at the audience who cheer._

Allen: So who do you prefer?

Hitomi: Well it's hard, whoever I don't pick will hate me, and I don't want to upset them.

Dryden: We both know that's bollocks. _Everyone laughs._ How about we give you some time to think about it and we'll ask you about the manga.

Allen: Even though everyone's read it of course _he coughs guiltily while audience cheers_ why don't you explain how Van Fanel _cheers _and Dilandau Albatou _cheers_ were picked to play the lead roles in the film.

Hitomi: _laughs_ I wasn't part of the panel who decided on the actors. But I remember being told by the directors that they were considering them for the parts and wanted to know what I thought, so I said if they felt they would be good I would be happy. Then Van called me practically reading me the riot act asking why he hadn't been offered the lead role in the film saying things like 'I've known you since we were kids,' 'You're my sister's best friend,' and the best one was 'You wrote that character with me in mind and you know it.'

Hitomi: _Audience laughs along with Hitomi, who then looks worried._ He'll kill me for that. But yeah he asked me who they were considering for the part so I pretended I didn't know and he was all you better get me an audition. Then two days later he rang me all angry saying 'You knew they were going to audition me and didn't even tell me?'

Hitomi:_ Puts on an fake anguished face and laughs again with the audience cheering her._ So yeah he was happy with the part and when I met Dilandau who I'd met once or twice before, he picked me up and swung me round yelling 'Thank you!!!' _she grins._ They were both very happy to have been picked and I remember all the furore around it at the time about who were going to play the lead roles, it was like the mania surrounding James Bond. I was so shocked. But it's amazing, really amazing.

Allen: So we've given you a bit of time now, who would you rather shag out of the two of them. _Audience laugh hysterically and Hitomi cheekily grins._

Hitomi: Well, seeing as one of them has a girlfriend, I think it'd have to be the other one.

Dryden: So who's that?

Hitomi: _Grinning_ Well, they'll know who it is.

Dryden: Okay, we'll get it out of you eventually, but we'll go now to the audience to see what questions they have for Hitomi.

_Allen points to a woman with a red top._

Woman: If you could be any manga or anime character who would it be?

Hitomi: Umm, that's a cool question as there are so many female characters surrounded by guys that I know I would love to exist in real life. It would probably be Tohru from Fruits Basket as I think Kyo is hot and I love the idea of hugging someone who turns into a cat. Very cute, or Misa from Death Note as she's surrounded by two hot guys the whole time and they're chained together. _Giggles while the audience cheers._

Allen: So you're into bondage then? _Audience laugh and Hitomi grins._

Hitomi: I guess if the movie does do shit then I can apply for a job at the fantasy channel. Next question?

Man: Who out of the male leads in the Escaflowne film do you find more attractive? _Audience cat-calls and Hitomi laughs while Allen smirks._

Allen: Could you remove your wig and big jumper? _Audience turn to look at the man and Hitomi gasps as the dark wig and jumper is removed to reveal Van Fanel. The audience yells applause, Dryden and Allen applaud as he comes onto the stage, shakes their hands and sits beside Hitomi._

Dryden: And could the sound guy step forward? _Man steps out of the side of the camera run to show that he's Dilandau Albatou, causing the audience to cheer wildly again for him as he walks onto the stage, shakes hands with the presenter and sits on the other side of Hitomi. Both Van and Dilandau place an arm around her on the back of the sofa, grinning wildly and laugh._

Hitomi: You bastards _laughing_ I can't believe you! _She hits them both over the head, and turns to Dilandau first, _You said you were on a date tonight_ then turns to Van and hits him again_ And you said you were out of the country!_ They all laugh and Hitomi puts her hands in her head still laughing as the audience cheers._

Dilandau: You didn't think we were going to miss your first big scary TV interview all by yourself did you? _Hitomi rolls her eyes._

Van: _grinning _Aside from that, we still want to know who you would rather sleep with. Hmm? _Audience cheers again as Hitomi sighs melodramatically and murmurs sardonically,_

Hitomi: Neither. You're both pricks. _Audience cheer loudly at her use of profanity._

Allen: I didn't realise you had such a potty mouth, Hitomi. _Van and Dilandau laugh._

Van: She curses like a pirate at times, even I have to blush at what she says.

Hitomi: Yes, when I suggest about the nature of your **very good **friendship with Dilandau. _Audience laugh raucously as well as Van and Dilandau, who reaches across for Van's hand and squeezes it_.

Dilandau: Told you she would tell everyone. _Audience laugh again as Van sweatdrops._

Dryden: _acts as if the two men aren't sitting either side of her. _So, Hitomi. We hear that you are romantically linked with one of the two male leads in the film. Can you confirm these rumours?

Hitomi: I don't know, they both seem a bit gay to me. _Both Van and Dilandau glare at her making her smile nervously._ Umm, I don't know.

Allen: _comprehension dawning_ It's Van! _Hitomi and Dilandau simultaneously fake shock and turn to stare at him._

Hitomi and Dilandau: Oh My God! Van! It's so good to see you! _Hitomi hugs him and Dilandau claps him on the shoulder. Audience laugh raucously along with Dryden._

Dryden: _laughing and indicating Allen_ Don't worry, he not very good with script changes. _Audience laugh again and Allen rolls his eyes._

Allen: What I meant by that was that Hitomi said that she would pick one because the other was dating someone, and they said that Dilandau was going on a date so it must be Van she'd prefer! _Audience cheers, Van grins widely and Hitomi flushes slightly._ So, Hitomi, Van? Is there anything you'd like to tell us?

Van: _faking embarrassment_ I'm very flattered. Very flattered. _Moves to put his arm round Hitomi's waist who moves away and says in a sarcastic voice,_

Hitomi: I was expecting sexual harassment, but not from you tonight.

Dryden: Is that what you two call it then? _He winks as the audience and Hitomi and Van laugh. _

Dryden: So would you categorically deny that you two are romantically involved.

Dilandau: Me and Van are just good friends, right man? _Audience laughs and Van rolls his eyes._

Van: _We're_ just good friends. Right Hito-chan? _She grins and Allen points at the screen behind them which they all turn to look at._

Allen: Maybe this will change your ideas.

_Screen flashes to reveal a picture of Hitomi with sunglasses on her head, leaning against a car and grinning up at Van who appears to lean in to kiss her. They both blush in the studio as the photo on the screen changes to one of them kissing as the audience cheer, cat-call and awww._

Van: _looking uncomfortable_ Well, there goes telling our parents first. _Van laughs nervously and puts his arm around Hitomi's waist who is smiling slightly and blushes, she moves closer to him._

Hitomi: At least they don't have a picture of five minutes later. _Audience laughs and Allen grins_

Allen: We do, but it'd be illegal for us to show it in public. _Everyone laughs and Dilandau smirks_

Dilandau: I think that's the worst kept secret in the country at the moment.

Hitomi: No, the worst kept secret is that our relationship is a sham to protect you two from being found out. _Audience laughs and Van looks annoyed._

Van: Maybe a relationship with Dilandau would be easier as he wouldn't constantly joke about my sexuality.

Hitomi and Dilandau: I'm happy with that. _Hitomi laughs and kisses his cheek and moves closer against his side._

Hitomi: _with puppy eyes_ I'm very sorry and will never question your sexuality ever again.

Van: You better not.

Dilandau: This all for drumming up publicity, I'm telling you I give it 3 weeks._ Audience laugh and Van and Hitomi roll their eyes at his comment._

Dryden: So I take it you'd prefer to sleep with Dilandau, seeing as with Van it's now been there, done that, wore his t-shirt._ Audience and Hitomi laugh._

Hitomi: No, I'm very happy where I am right now, Dilandau's more of a brother to me.

Dryden: So what's Van like then? You know… _audience laugh and Hitomi flushes and Van smiles_

Van: I'm a perfect gentlemen.

Dilandau: I never had any complaints. _Audience laugh and Hitomi grins and prevents Van from hitting Dilandau._

Allen: I think we'll come back after the break.

Dryden: With lots more embarrassing questions for the new hot couple until someone in Big Brother shacks up with a z-lister. _Audience laughs._

Hitomi: And me defending Van Fanel's sexuality and my own innocence from his wandering hands.

_Van heard in the background, 'they're not wandering.'_

Dilandau: Please change the channel, stop them from getting any more undeserved attention.

_Voiceover: Coming up next – Why Van Fanel isn't gay by Hitomi Kanzaki and how much OK and Hello are offering to cover their wedding, if it ever happens and if their relationship is real or just to promote their new movie. Don't switch!_

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A/N: Hello All! Thank you for reading, locked inside my heart will be updated before the end of this week. This is to celebrate the end of my A-Levels. YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Make me the happiest person in the world by reviewing, or send me Van in the post, I don't mind paying for the packaging. Lol

All the best,

Sina


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